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OH MY GOD.

I am never buying anything on Craigslist again.

I bought my couch from this guy over two months ago. He wanted $125 for it but I only had $60 on me at the time. He said it was fine and I could give him the rest later. Whatevs. So I pick the couch up, give him $60 and he says it's all cool. I assume that by "it's all cool" he means IT'S ALL COOL.

A MONTH AND A HALF LATER he starts texting me asking me about his money. I just ignore him until he starts threatening to come to my work. Wtf??? I tell him I'm in Alaska and I'll deal with it when I get back.

FFWD to today and he's texting me again. I write him back and tell him that as I recall, we agreed that $60 was fine and if it wasn't fine then he never should have let me leave with the couch. More freaking out on his part. He sends me the most epic text messages ever. He wants to come get the couch. Finally I tell him that I don't care and I'll mail him a check on the 15th when I get paid. NOPE. He wants to come to my office and get it. The shitty part is that he knows where my office is because I'm a dumbass and e-mailed him from my work address originally and my signature has our company info in it.

I told him that wasn't okay and he finally stopped texting me without a reply. Now I'm afraid he's just going to show up at my office one day and throw a fit. FANTASTIC.

I need to hire a bodyguard. Maybe LiLo will share hers with me. Sigh...